Yesterday was hard.

Yesterday was a little difficult. The difficulty actually began a few days earlier when Kelly and I met with Kim. This is the person who makes recommendations to the patient and or family of a stroke victim about such things as skilled nursing facilities (SNF), refitting our home to accommodate such things as wheel chairs or walkers, bars for bathing, the list is long. Dale is fairly adamant about not wanting to come home until he is more self-sufficient. I am getting trained in transfers from chair to bed, etc. I worry about caring for him with a "peg" but am game for almost everything. I want him home!

In any case Kelly and I looked at two SNF facilities yesterdays. Loved one the other not so much. We will see a couple more over the next couple of days and choose so we will be ready for whatever comes.

It is beginning to look like he will not be home for Christmas. It is difficult to write the words. We have always been together for the holidays. It is not to say we won't be together. We will bring Christmas to the hospital or SNF. It will not be home, but we will all be together. As I write this I remember other Christmases that were out of the ordinary. When our son was a little boy, he often ran a fever, you guessed it, on Christmas day. I remember one holiday when Santa brought him an electric car. He was so excited!!! He figured out the process and proceeded down the hallway and back a few times. It got quiet and when we checked, we saw he had laid his head down on the steering wheel and was sound asleep with very pink cheeks revealing he once again managed to be ill on Christmas. Over the years Dale worked weekends and such. There were several times when we began Christmas at the end of shift that day. This year with our extended family we will once again be celebrating not on Christmas eve or even Christmas morn. With an extended family our holiday will begin Christmas afternoon. So if you know what I am getting for Christmas, shhhhhh. I won't know until late in the day and I love surprises, both given and received!

This is harder. However I know well that we will make this work and there will be joy